Whether through your own self-awareness, your wife, or a friend, or even a stranger telling you, you’ve come to the realization that you need to become a better husband. The first step is admitting it.
Some of us have fallen into the Clark Kent syndrome of life. We go about our daily mild-mannered activities, seldom deviating from our routine. We’re comfortable and we don’t see a need to change or progress. We keep Superman hidden away where no one we know and love personally will find him.
Theodore Martin said,
“When a man imagines, even after years of striving, that he has attained perfection, his decline begins.”
How do we prevent this decline and keep going on the path of becoming what we need to be?
We have a need for self-awareness. We need to know our own flaws and weaknesses. We can’t just sit back and wait for someone to tell us.
Next, we have to know our priorities and we have to have them in order. Whether written down or in your head, you need to make it clear to yourself what comes first to you. Some people get it mixed up and put things like exercise or Xbox first. Here’s a sample of how it probably should be:
- God – your personal relationship with God
- Wife and family – your spouse is first, then the rest of your family
- Job – this is part of taking care of number 2; if you don’t take care of your job, how can you take care of your family?
- Hobbies and other interests – once you have the basics down, then you can take care of the other stuff in life.
With a knowledge of who you are and your priorities in order, you can identify areas in which you need to improve. Pick 1 or 2 things to work on at a time. Don’t try to do it all at once; if you do you’ll probably fail and give up. Start with something simple; if you don’t currently help with any chores around the house, pick one that you can consistently do and do it. We become better step by step. Its a process, not an event.
Do these things, and your inner Superman will come out. Your Lois Lane will appreciate the effort.
Here’s the practical advice:
- Know who you are – we often lose site of that. We have to be grounded in a knowledge of our own self-worth to move forward.
- Know your priorities – put first things first in life. Don’t delay, start today. Maybe this could be your first goal: prioritize correctly and put your wife higher on the list.
- Set and write down your goals – an unwritten goal is just a wish. The old adage goes something like, “wish into one hand and put dirt in the other, then see which one gets filled first.”
- Tell someone your goals – create a support system for your success. If you don’t feel you can tell anyone, or you feel embarrassed; tell your wife. If there’s one person who you can tell embarrassing things to, or who really wants you to succeed in this, it is her. Be open and frank with who ever you tell. Let them know you need their support to make it happen.
Above all else: Love Your Wife