Handling the Hard Times


This time of year can be rough on people. It’s a common time for depression to set in its varying degrees. Whether its the stress of overspending at Christmas and getting the bills in, or its the gloomy weather, or any number of other things, it is a natural occurrence.

In the different seasons of our lives together as married couples, depression is one of the many hard things we will face. There are too many to list, but some common ones we have to cope with are:

  • Death of a loved one
  • Financial peril
  • Child behavioral issues
  • Spousal disagreement

Life is full of good times and bad times. Noted author C.S. Lewis said in his book The Problem of Pain:

“Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-will involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself”

What ever your particular trial, your priority is to ensure that you work together to solve the problem, and not let it drive you apart. Even when its a disagreement between husband and wife, both should put away selfishness, and seek compromise in deference to your love for each other.

Too many people turn away from the very people they need to help them through difficulty. Find your solace in each other. It is significantly easier to make it through tough times with a partner than on your own.

When faced with the difficulty and pain of coping with loss of life in your family, there are so many emotions and feelings from everyone involved. We cannot escape them, it is normal in our human condition and is part of life. As husbands it is our sacred responsibility to care for our wives, even as we turn to others for our own support.

When hard times come (and they will come) remember spring always follows winter; after the cold, dreary times, the world comes back to life.

Here’s the practical advice:

  • Remember You Can’t Fix Everything – If you need help, or if your spouse needs help (especially in the case of serious depression) seek help from a spiritual leader, a professional, or a trusted friend. You’re not alone in this.
  • Take a Break – If things get heated, use your safe word to take a breather. Remember to fight fair.
  • Don’t Talk About it Late – Emotions run high and sensitivity is at its peak when we’re tired. Don’t talk about difficult things at a time when you run the risk of making it worse.
  • Pick Your Battles – Don’t stand your ground on something that is ultimately unimportant. Don’t let your ego determine your direction. Be a bigger man by putting aside ego and selfishness in the interest of the most important person in your life.

Above all else: Love Your Wife

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About husbandtomywife

Just a man who loves one woman and wants to do it better.
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