Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Okay, pop quiz!

  1. You’re out with your buddies, having a good time, and your wife calls. She’s got a minor emergency and may need you to come home early. Do you:
    1. Tell her to keep you updated and you’ll leave if she needs you to OR
    2. Tell her to call her sister because you’re out with your buddies
  2. You’re wife calls back and says she does need you to come home. Do you:
    1. Pack up and leave OR
    2. Say “Didn’t I tell you to call  your sister?”
  3. You’re wife asks you not to explain details to your buddies about what’s happening. Do you:
    1. Explain that you have to leave without details OR
    2. Tell your buddies anyway, because it’s not that important to keep it secret
  4. Your friends reaction to all of this is:
    1. “Whatever you need to do bro. Call if you need anything.” OR
    2. “She’s such a drag man. Just hang here with us, she’ll be fine”

I’m sure some who read this will think this quiz was an easy “A”, but there are people out there who need to work on their priorities a little more. If you answered “A” to all of these, you’re on the right track, but don’t get cocky! Cockiness leads to pride and forgetfulness. Be vigilant about your priorities and your care for your wife.

If you answer “B” to any or all of these questions, lets talk. We’ll take it question by question:

  1. If your wife calls to tell you something important, acknowledge it as important. You are her first call on everything as she should be yours. Don’t make the mistake of blowing her off, or passing the buck on your responsibility.
  2. If your wife calls you to go, you shouldn’t whine or complain. If she’s in need, it’s your role as husband to answer the call willingly. Have the grown up discussion with your wife about your time away from the family. Have the mindset ahead of time that family is first, so that if the need arises, you’ve already made the decision ahead of time.
  3. You’ve heard the line “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. If there’s any secret or confidence you should keep, it’s the one between you and your wife. Don’t betray that trust. Ever.
  4. Who you choose to spend your time with friend-wise almost always reflects yourself. If you have friends that do not support you in supporting your family, it’s time to reevaluate whether or not you should spend time with them. Before marriage, you can get away with putting bros first, but once your married, or even engaged, that changes immediately.

So if you passed the test, good job! Keep up the good work.

If not, start or continue working on it. Get your priorities in order.

Here’s the practical advice:

  • Put Your Wife First – Make a conscious effort to think of your wife’s needs and put them before anyone else’s needs. Wants can be an open discussion between you and your spouse, but needs are your priority.
  • Prioritize – Schedule your time to reflect whats most important. Your time should always be skewed towards more time supporting and being with your family than away. If your job takes you away from home, this is even more important. When you’re home, be home; don’t take time away from your wife to be with the guys.

Above all else: Love Your Wife


About husbandtomywife

Just a man who loves one woman and wants to do it better.
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