There are lots of opinions floating out there on what actually constitutes cheating in a relationship. You hear jokes of the so-called zip-code or area-code rules. To me, these aren’t even funny. Fidelity in marriage is of the utmost importance. It is the basis for trust between husband and wife. When the line is crossed, it is very difficult to repair the damage that is done.
Since the definition of cheating seems to be a gray area, I’ll break it down into the different types of cheating, examples and ways to steer clear of even the perception of being a cheater.
This is the classic idea of what cheating is. Very clear lines here, no sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse. Kissing, holding hands, cuddling and the like should also not be done with anyone but your wife.
Some people think as long as they’re not having sex with someone else, they’re not cheating, but if you’re withholding emotional affections and giving them to someone else, that too falls solidly in the cheating category. Carrying on texting or chat room or other relationships where you carry on discussions with and express feelings to someone not your spouse is NOT okay. Don’t confide, share your personal thoughts and emotions in anyone but your spouse.
There are several things you can avoid to help keep yourself on the straight and narrow:
- Flirting – it may seem harmless to flirt with a coworker, a friend, or the girl at the checkout, but it can hurt feelings and lead to more. Flirt with your wife.
- Hanging out – I’m not talking about hanging out with the guys; I’m talking about hanging out with your friend that’s a girl. Don’t be 1 on 1 with any one of the opposite sex that isn’t your mother or your sister. Hang out with your wife.
- Going to lunch 1:1 – some coworkers won’t get this. It may be nothing, you may feel no attraction for the person at all, but perception is reality. If you consistently go out to eat with someone of the opposite sex, it looks like a steady date. Don’t do it.
Here’s the practical advice:
- Communicate – There are many reasons that people give for cheating, the root cause for most people is that they feel that their needs are not being met within the marriage. If you EVER feel this way, that is when you need to talk to your wife. Help keep each other true.
- Institute Date Night – Keeping it fresh is one of the best ways to keep cobwebs off of your marriage.
- Decide Now – Decide now to never cheat. That way when the temptation comes, you’ll already know what you chose.
Above all else: Love Your Wife!