“Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much about marrying the right person as it is being the right person. A conscious effort to do ones part fully is the greatest element contributing to success” -Howard W. Hunter
This is a very introspective take on what it takes to make a marriage work. We make only one choice in life about someone in our family, and that’s our spouse. We don’t pick our parents, grandparents, or siblings. We don’t pick our children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or cousins. So when we make that choice to marry the person we’ve found to be compatible with ourselves, we have to commit, and do what it takes to make it work.
Growing up, my mom told me that love is not enough in a marriage, it takes effort, it takes work. I like to add to that by saying it takes proactive effort. There will always be a level of reactive effort, like apologizing for mistakes, but being the right person means checking yourself to make sure your providing to the marriage relationship.
Thomas S. Monson continued in his talk saying,
“Realize that you will not be able anticipate every challenge which may arise. Be assured almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and committed to making your marriage work.”
When tough times come, it takes strength to push through it, and that strength comes from doing it together. Being resourceful can mean many things for example: if it’s financial trouble, you might find ways to cut spending that you hadn’t considered before. What ever your particular problem is, there is a solution, you just have to try and find it.
As life together changes, stand ready to roll with the punches and make the necessary adjustments in yourselves to maintain the most prized possession you have together: your marriage.
Here’s the practical advice:
- Keep open lines of communication – talk to your wife often. Don’t leave your conversations as small talk, bring up the big stuff, the hard stuff when you need to (at appropriate times of course).
- Practice CSI – Continual Self Improvement is important. You’re not perfect, so make sure you’re always trying to fix what’s wrong with you as opposed to pointing out your spouse’s faults
- Teamwork – It takes 2 to tango, and it takes 2 to make a thing go right. Whatever you do, do it together.
Above all else: Love Your Wife